


with a little help from my friends

by black_queen (hotch_fan)



Series: Billionaire Philanthropist Buddies [7]
Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan), Iron Man (Movies), Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Banter, Bickering, Bruce Wayne is Not a Damsel in Distress, Bruce is Not Amused, Canon - Movie, Crossover, Crossover Friendship, Damn it!, Gen, Hostage Situations, Hurt Bruce Wayne, Light Angst, Male Friendship, Minor Injuries, Protective Clark Kent, Protective Tony Stark, Rescue, Swearing, Unwanted Help, because Tony is in it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 03:19:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10631055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotch_fan/pseuds/black_queen
Summary: There are many advantages to being friends with two superheroes. Or disadvantages, if you're Bruce Wayne.





	

It all started with a hostage situation at the Gotham Art Museum.

The unmistakable sound of gunshots interrupted the evening, and the group of armed men that strode into the place had no problem enclosing the attendees and forcing security guards to drop their weapons in a matter of seconds.

It was the opening night of a temporary exhibition; an exclusive exhibition that was going to be in the city for only a few months, so the place was packed with the rich and famous of the city.

Bruce Wayne was among them, of course, and he would have tried to slip away amid the chaos to call the police and try to find a way to stop them even without the Batsuit, but he had been standing close to where they arrived and was spotted right away.

They weren't professionals, the billionaire concluded after watching them furtively for over a minute. That wasn't exactly a good thing, though.

It was good because they weren't acting as careful as professionals would, which increases the possibilities of them leaving evidence behind, but it was also _bad_ because their lack of experience could make them hurt someone seriously if something spooked them.

The thieves were wearing tuxedos and balaclavas, so either they dressed like that to blend in or they had inside help. They could have entered as guests while the guns had been hidden somewhere in the museum. They quickly pushed the crowd together, leading them into a couple of the exhibitions to better handle them and forced everyone to kneel or drop to the floor. When the hostages contained, only four henchmen remained, guns pointed at them while the rest moved away.

They worked organized, but a few details showed they weren't working as efficiently as they could considering how large the group was.

As Bruce had experienced first-hand, they hadn't been above hitting a few people to make them move faster, but so far no one seemed to have any inclination to hurt anyone further, which was good. He hoped things continued that way because he didn't think he could stop himself from interfering if there was a direct threat to anyone.

Alfred wasn't going to be pleased if he did anything foolish, but the state of his tux after this was over was going to be enough to ensure the butler's displeasure.

The hesitant raising whispering among the civilians was shut down quickly with a snarl from one of the criminals, making Bruce scowl at himself for getting distracted by his thoughts.

With his hands clenched at his sides, Bruce's piercing hazel eyes went back to discreetly flicker back and forth to memorize as many details as he could of the two criminals in his line of sight from his place on the floor.

He hated this. He hated feeling so fucking useless lying here when he should be doing something, _anything_ to stop them.

The billionaire was still thinking of a way to act when a strange gust of wind made him look up just in time to see a flash of blue move above them, and that flash was all he needed to realize what was happening.

The irritation that had been bubbling inside him since the whole thing started turned into annoyance, then, but he could admit (at least to himself) that there was also a small sense of relief.

Superman had disarmed the four men before a single shot could be fired--not that it would have made much difference anyway--and was hovering vigilante as a couple of unarmed security guards hesitantly stood up to secure the thieves. Bruce didn't miss the turquoise eyes that flickered briefly in his direction, but he ignored them.

That was when bullets started flying as the accomplices came to face _Superman-_ just another proof they weren't professionals. But, even if Superman couldn't be hurt, Bruce was concerned by the possibility of any of the stray bullets hitting one of the hostages, especially those who had started to stand up only to drop to the floor when the first shots were fired.

Thankfully, Clark seemed to consider the same notion because he flew to hover between the hostages and the gunmen, using his heat vision to melt the weapons and doing a quick job of knocking the now unarmed men unconscious.

Just as the crowd was too busy gaping at Superman. Some weeping openly, or simply too stunned to move, a metallic noise was heard in the opposite direction, making Bruce lower his head and clench his jaw as everyone turned to look.

Goddamnit! This could not be happening to _him._

"Darn! Looks like I got too late to the party." A familiar voice announced behind him. "Brucie! Are you alright?"

Aware of the people surrounding him (some who already had turned to look in his direction), and of a teenage boy nearby who had recovered enough to start recording with his cell phone, Bruce held back a glare as he looked too, standing up slowly.

Iron Man was standing in the exhibition room in all his shiny metallic glory, the faceplate of the suit pulled up as Tony looked back at him with a grin.

Bruce mused up a wan smile. "I've been better."

"Great! Come on, let’s get out of here. Looks like Supes has everything under control."

Bruce looked back in time to see Superman flying back with a couple of unconscious men to add to the pile. Their eyes met briefly before Bruce looked back at Tony. He was about to tell him he would rather stay where he was when he saw Iron Man flying toward him, extending a robotic arm to grab him. Bruce hissed at the contact but said nothing as Tony lifted him up in his arms. Instead, he focused all of his energy to stop from scowling.

He could almost swear he saw a smile on Clark's face as Tony carried him away. Damn it!

"Put me down," Bruce growled as soon as they were out of the museum.

"You sure?" Tony asked cheekily as he flew up. He didn't wait for an answer as he headed toward a nearby shadowy rooftop to land, lowering the other man to his feet as he lifted the faceplate one more time.

"What's up? You forgot something back there or what?"

Bruce said nothing, simply turned around and called Superman under his breath. He knew Clark could hear him and the Kryptonian was too much of a Boy Scout to ignore him, so he would come. Everything had already been pretty much wrapped up, so it shouldn't take long.

Bruce was in no mood to do this twice.

"Are you going to keep ignoring me? 'Cause I can just be on my way if-" Tony trailed off as Superman landed on the rooftop, his red cape swirling behind him. He snorted. "Hey, Big Blue! Coming for the scolding too?"

Annoyed, Bruce turned to shot the other billionaire a glare before addressing both superheroes. "What are you doing here."

Tony beamed, the light from the arc reactor illuminating his face. "Why, Brucie, I came to save your ass, of course."

"I told you to keep Iron Man out of Gotham."

"Yeah, about that. You know how much I love following orders and everything, right?" He winked. "And, your name may be on like 99 percent of the buildings here, darling, but this is still a free country. Kind of."

Bruce barely resisted the urge to bury his face in his hands. Or maybe punch the other man. Why did he even think Tony was going to take this seriously. He took a deep breath before turning to Clark with a slightly wary look.

"What's your excuse,"

Clark flickered his eyes in Tony's direction before looking back at Bruce. "I heard what was happening when I was on my way back to Metropolis. I scanned the building and didn't fly in until I realized you were trapped inside."

Bruce watched him with narrowed eyes. It was an improvement that Clark had taken the time to analyze the situation rather than rushing headfirst to interfere where he obviously wasn't wanted, even if he had done it anyway.

Thanks to him, no one had been hurt and the criminals had been apprehended, but still. He didn't want him to think it was okay for him to interfere in Gotham, not even when Batman couldn't act.

"I- appreciate the help," Bruce said begrudgingly. "But I had everything under control."

"Yeah, right." Tony interrupted with a snort. "What were you gonna do exactly, Mr. Secret Identity? Will them to go away with your mind? Or maybe use your drunken act to draw all the attention to yourself and become a perfect target in the process?"

"If I had to," Bruce bit out, turning to glare at the other man.

Clark stayed very still, wavering between looking back and forth between the two billionaires and averting his gaze away.

"Are you fucking serious here? You'll rather take a bullet than accept help from your friend?"

"I didn't need help."

"Yeah, right. That coming from the man that was cowering on the floor-"

"I was not _cowering."_ Bruce snarled.

"Oh, really? Why don't-"

"Your wrist is sprained and you have a bruised rib." Clark blurted out, putting a stop to the glaring contest between the two billionaires and drawing their attention toward him.

Stark watched him open-mouthed while the glare Bruce sent his way made Clark shift from one foot to the other.

"You what!?" Tony shouted, turning back to Bruce. "Why didn't you say something?"

"I'm fine," He said through clenched teeth.

"Shut up. We're going to the hospital." Tony crossed the distance between them with a couple of long strides.

Bruce took a step back. "I don't need a hospital. Alfred can take care of it."

"Right. Does Alfred have an x-ray machine I don't know about? Or are you totally missing the point where you need x-rays and shit to make sure it's nothing serious?"

Bruce turned to Clark, an eyebrow arched. "Well?"

Clark hesitated, obviously wanting to side with Tony on this particular issue. Knowing he was in enough troubles already for revealing the injuries in the first place, he chose to do as Bruce wanted and used his x-ray vision. "There's some swelling, but only a minor damage to the ligament."

That was all he needed to hear. Without a word, Bruce turned back to Tony. "See? I'm fine."

"Like hell you are!"

"Stop that." Bruce snapped. "I can take care of myself."

"Oh, sure you can, but you wouldn't!" Tony shouted back. "You could be literally crawling on the floor, barely conscious and still insist you're fine."

"Please. I don't-"

"I have to go," Clark announced abruptly, silencing both men. "There's a fire in Brazil." He hesitated a second longer, wondering if it was safe to leave the two bickering billionaires alone before he took off.

They watched as he disappeared in the dark sky a second later.

"Well? Aren't you going to thank me?"

Bruce turned back to Tony, an eyebrow arched. "Why would I do that. Superman took care of everything."

"Maybe, but I got you out of there before the police arrived," Tony pointed out.

"Yes, and thanks to that I will have to drive to the police station tomorrow to give my statement."

"That's ridiculous. It's not like drunken Brucie Wayne saw something the other dozens of witnesses in the museum didn't notice."

Bruce had to agree with Tony on that point. And with the criminals caught, he didn't even need to come up with an elaborated plan to find ways to offhandedly share the details he picked up when he gave his statement. That was good enough for him.

"It doesn't matter. Gordon isn't going to let his men treat me any different just because of who I am."

Tony gave him a look. "He may do it if he really knew who you are."

Bruce shook his head but said nothing else. It was pointless to talk about something that was never going to happen.

"Now, how about you hop in your car and I fly you back to the Manor. I've always wanted to fly a car with someone inside," Tony added with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"You're not flying my car, Anthony," Bruce told him flatly.

"Do you always have to act like a grumpy seventy-year-old?" Tony asked with his arms crossed. "I think Alfie is that old and even he has more fun that you do."

"I don't know. Do you always have to act like an irresponsible seventeen-year-old?" Bruce countered dryly.

"Hell, yeah!" Tony declared unabashedly. "Now come here so I can fly you home to Alfie and his awesome medical powers."

"Why don't you just take me back to the parking lot and I can drive myself back,"

Tony made a show of squinting in the direction of the museum. "I dunno. It must be packed with reporters and cops down there by now. Are you sure you wanna deal with all that crap, Brucie?"

Bruce grimaced because no, he didn't want to deal with any of it.

"Fine," He said with a tired sigh. "I'll have Alfred send someone to pick my car."

Tony shot him a wry smile as he moved closer. "You know, literally anyone else would be _delighted_ by hitching a ride with Iron Man."

Bruce grunted.

"I'm serious," Tony insisted as he reached to pick him up bridal style. "More people want to fly with me that with Superman 'cause my suit is way cooler."

"Hmm,"

He narrowed his eyes behind the faceplate as he looked down at the man in his arms. "You're just fucking with me now, aren't you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Bruce told him. "Are we leaving anytime soon?"

"We are, and we're going to take the scenic route just 'cause you're an ungrateful jerk," Tony informed him before taking off.

"Tony-"

"Sorry, Brucie, but I can't hear you right now. Why don't you just shut up and relax, m'kay?"

Bruce glared at him. A moment later he huffed, rolling his eyes. He wasn't going to make Tony change his mind about this, and unless he was willing to jump into the void, he was stuck here in Iron Man's metallic arms.

He may as well try to enjoy the trip.

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea why it took me _forever_ to finish this and, to be honest, I feel like the ending it's kind of weak, but still, I'm just thankful it's over now. lol! I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> This is unbetaed and I'm not a native speaker, so please feel free to point out any mistake you may find.


End file.
